CONSEQUENCES

I don’t know who needs to hear this, and maybe I’m just typing it out so I can hear myself say it, but if your family has wronged you, whether it’s because of who you love, what your religious or political beliefs are or aren’t, or whatever the bone of contention is out of a multitude of other reasons. Just because said family gets a serious health diagnosis, your feelings of resentment, and the wounds they left are still 100% valid. Full stop.

Let me say that one more time.

Your feelings of resentment, and the wounds they left are still 100% valid.

Those feelings are still justified. Those feelings don’t magically have to go away. That diagnosis is NOT a "get-out-of-jail free card.” If you’ve said your peace and left the ball in their court, it is still THEIR responsibility to take the steps to make things right.

Stop beating yourself up, and do your best to push aside the guilt you feel day in and day out for not rushing to their bedside. Go to sleep tonight and tell yourself you’ve done what you’ve needed to do, and said what needed to be said on your part. Now it’s up to them to make the next step in mending the relationship.

Will questions arise as to why you aren’t present at such a time of concern and uncertainty? Yes. Will others start to make factless assumptions that you’re the one who’s being cold-hearted and distant? Yes. But I’ll simply quote one of my favorite lines Dr. Seuss ever penned. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.” There will always be people talking, just consider this as an opportunity to give someone else a break from the gossip chopping block.

A word of caution to this tale. You also need to make peace with the fact that they might not ever attempt to make it right. That IS NOT ON YOU. Now shake it off, go for a run, cry while eating ice cream, or whatever your fave self-care indulgence is. You’re a bad bitch. You’re a cute crier. Most importantly, you are deserving of love. Whether they make it right or not, even through the hurt and resentment, remember that you’ve shown love. And at the end of the day, love always wins.